Im a slacker

2008-09-29T06:57:00.002+09:00

Ok right now it has come to the point where I have to decide on which direction do I want to take my life to.

One option that I am seriously considering is to return to the UK and settle there. After all, my brothers are there and my mum just bought an awesome apartment there. I would not have to worry about rent and whatever other shit I have here. And most importantly, I would not be lonely.

Second option is to go somewhere in Asia like Hong Kong which is equally as attractive as the option above. My grandparents are there...and Hong Kong is just such an awesome place for someone like me to develop. It is not just easy for me to develop my career there, I can also be close to my parents.

Well the last option which I am currently undertaking (which I am beginning to wonder more and more why I am doing it) is to stay in fucked up USA and live my current fucked up used life. I mean US is not gonna give me a visa from the looks of it. And there is no one here I can trust. Everyone here seems to have some ulterior motive. Most of the time, I am unhappy. Yea its hollywood and shit...but my future seems bleak here especially those related to my future relationships. Guys here are just fucked up. Oh hell yea they are...they are all dogs or ex dogs who are still most likely going to dog around after they are bored.

Looks like I would go for the first two options. I just contacted my brother who lives in London to name me some film/ tv production companies there. Hopefully tomorrow he can give me a list where I can start applying to. Once that's settled, I believe I would be on the way to a happier life and brighter future.

2008-09-24T08:04:00.003+09:00

I was lying back some day thinking about life when this question of "where do I see myself in 5 years time" came across my head. I then decided to pen it down in this blog .

Well in 5 years, I would be 27 years old. And by that time, I definitely hope to be very successful in my career. Hopefully earned my first million, drive my dream cars and live in my dream house. I also see myself taking my parents and brothers on their dream vacations and treating them to the best food in the world. I also see myself giving my awesome dog Spectre who I love so very much the best life any dog can have.
And of course, by then I hope to be settled down with some fine gentleman with a good background where I wont be given anymore worries and heartaches and of course those stupid "reality bites" issues.

I know that in every stage of our lives, there would always be problems. However, 5 years from now, I see myself not having the issues I am having now.

2008-09-04T10:10:00.002+09:00

Sigh...its been forever since I wrote on this blog. Life sucks...

I miss home...well more like my family. My wonderful parents and my two most awesome brothers ever. Sometimes I wonder whether it is worth it staying on here especially over wadever it is im staying here for. Sometimes I wish I knew just what to do and that I was strong enough to do things and not get hurt in any way.

2007-12-18T05:52:00.000+09:00

If you are looking at porn and purchasing/ indulging in adult toys...

All I want to say is : I FUCKING HATE YOU!

2007-12-17T12:59:00.000+09:00

Geez....Dont be fucking stupid like some people I know. Getting involved in some casual relationships just to get laid.

Dont be so fucking stupid. In the end it is you and only who will suffer. Eventually when you find someone you really love, that someone is going to have a grudge against you for life. Maybe not but there will always be this guilt in you.

Maybe you are some fucking bastard who does not give a shit as to who you end up hurting....or perhaps a bastard who does not give a fuck about the one for you in life.

If you are this fucked up, i suggest you clean your fuckin head and come to your bloody senses. Cuz in the end it just is not worth it.

2007-12-16T03:39:00.000+09:00

Ha! Know what is the number one thing and the biggest and most "likeliest" culprit for messed up computers? Its pretty obvious. It is the price to be paid by the sick minded. And i certainly have no pity for them.

2007-12-13T07:34:00.000+09:00

I fuckin hate people who watches dirty stuff. What makes it worse is that they lie to other people and say they don't. Bullshit!

Know wad...nothing can go hidden forever. The result of these bastards is that they end up losing people they love. Lies lies lies....come on...i know old habits die hard. Such fucks ups.

When it comes to this kind of people, I just want to wipe them off my life. Hell no I would hang out with them and hell no i would even want to share my life with one of them. They disappointed you in the past, they would disappoint you now and they would disppoint you in the future. So I would do myself a favour and keep these people as far away from me as possible. To me, they dont exist! Fuckin loser...

2007-11-11T13:16:00.000+09:00

Thats crap.

Dont say you know how I feel cuz you dont.

Dont compare me to your wadeva experience because its not the same.

Dont say things just to cover up for yourself.

You will never ever understand what Im going through. Period.

Dont argue with me on this because you will lose.

2007-10-31T09:29:00.000+09:00

Sure as humans, everyone makes mistakes...at some point in the life, grave mistakes and not so serious ones. Even I do...

However, I will not suffer for the mistakes that others make regardless of who or play any part in the responsibilities that their mistakes brought them.

Im responsible for my own life and my own happiness. I have dreams I want to fulfill and nothing can stop me from achieving them...nothing at all.

2007-10-29T11:22:00.000+09:00

Someone slap me, kick me, punch me or perhaps kill me...

2007-10-29T10:58:00.000+09:00

Hello...its been a while since I updated my blog I know. A lot has happened since the last entry. Life is as cruel as before. Just that im seeing and feeling more about it now.

Sometimes I just feel lost and I have no where to turn to. There are things I want to voice out but too afraid to. I always feel that when I say something, I would lose something/ someone important in my life.

Sometimes I feel lonely. Like there is no one who sees me as the individual who wants to just feel happy and like totally loved. I wanna feel important. I feel like im losing everything I thought I had. Maybe I lost it already unknowingly. I guess life is just laughing at me telling me that what I dream of and want, I can never have. And perhaps I should just snap back to reality and accept my pathetic life the way it is.

2007-08-31T22:10:00.000+09:00

I always wondered what is it like to go to a club. Is it where all the low grade males and females go to pick up members of the opposite sex to have a wild ass stupid time? Is it a place to just drink, take drugs and dance like you are being hypnotised? Or perhaps a place to get your ear drums busted?

I think I should go and check it out some day....to some night club. See wad these low graders do. Anyone wanna go with me...? hehe... Have some fun checking it out.

2007-07-30T09:11:00.000+09:00

Sigh...been feeling shitty really.

I suck i know i suck...Thats probably why. I know Im not good enough and shit. Sigh...Cuz of me...you resort to other things.

Indecent shit. That hurts fucking lots. Maybe u dun realise it but it kills me.

Dunno if I can live with that.

2007-07-02T01:01:00.001+09:00

No Promises lyrics

So sad...

2007-07-01T12:09:00.000+09:00

Yes yes yes....Im back in NYC. Lol...

Somehow I feel like writing another post but my mind is blank. I dunno why. Maybe im just so tired.

2007-06-18T02:09:00.000+09:00

Today is one of the "bestest" days ever. Know why?

Well its cuz...i managed to see all my dream cars in one day alone in Singapore! One nissan skyline, an rx-7 and 2 highly hooked up S15's. That really made my day. For some reason or another , i get so happy when i see these vehicles. Not even seeing my neighbour's lamborghini mucielago can make me this happy. I was like all smiles when i think of these cars. Im just glad that people appreciate these street monsters as much as i do. Its so comforting...

2007-06-16T01:08:00.000+09:00

There has been some incident that's been tickling my insides for a while. The other day we met up with this kiasu couple with two kid's at Darren's (extended bro) place. They were freakin strange. Thinking only about money. Lol...money facer's!

Anyway, when we got home, my mum told me that the woman was the guy's second wife. Apparently the first one divorced him because she found him "TOO BORING". I was like what the F***!? I laughed hard at that statement but yet, felt sad.

It really surprises me to see so many people treating marriage like it's a game. Where did the sacredness and beauty of marriage go to? To me, this is such a sad phenomenon. Why do people bother getting married when they are unsure of either party?

Yea...I know of the initial stages of romance/ relationships when there is always that burning passion. Everything seems so wonderful and perfect. But as time goes by (Casablanca theme song playing in the background), that passion fades away. And that's when the marriage reality kicks in and UH OH! Quarrels become frequent. Both parties become unhappy and try to find excuses to leave each other.

But you know, marriage is like a promise, a commitment made by the husband and wife to be together forever. What about that "for better or for worse?" Just some decoration to make the wedding ceremony seem sooooo ....ah, I dont know! I feel that despite being sick of one another (aka. fallen out of love) both should still stay together and work hard at making it work.

The only valid reasons to leave one another should be only if one of them cheats on the other. The poor one who got cheated on should definitely move on and find someone more worthwhile whilst the cheating spouse should just CRASH AND BURN! Or, get struck down by lightning and sent to the lowest level of hell. People are just selfish creatures and think only of themselves. Before you think of cheating on your spouse/ gf/ bf, think twice. Imagine how they would feel.

But apart from that, what other valid reason can there be? If you can't stand that person, then dont get married in the first place. That is why people should always go out with one another for at least 3 years before getting married. Early marriage usually ends up unhappy.

And remember, nothing lasts. Don't go into a marriage and expect a fairy tale ending. Cuz you would most likely end up disappointed.

Marriage should never be treated lightly. I hope the world would come to their senses. And divorce, should always be avoided and the last resort. And should only be done with a valid reason.

And yea...im pissed off by people who treat it lightly. Sorry.

2007-06-15T01:56:00.000+09:00

Im super crazy about MadTV now. Whenever i go onto youtube, thats the first thing I would see. Its so funny. Makes me laugh and helps me forget the bad things / day. Check it out when you have the chance!

2007-06-15T01:53:00.000+09:00

Sometimes... I wish that bad memories and bad pasts can be erased. Everything from there gone. Mistakes that people make that haunts the present. Sigh...I wish there was no bad past.

2007-06-15T00:35:00.000+09:00

Hahaha!
Sau u complain of your bald patch again and i will smack u! I also balding you know. LIfe's like that....We born fuggly too but what to do. This is life...accept it. No point crying over our monstrous looks. Sighzzz....

2007-06-11T01:26:00.001+09:00

Im the luckiest person in the world. Know why?

Cuz I have the best love in the world. All the love in the world....

2007-06-10T01:52:00.000+09:00

Being in Singapore has had some adverse reactions on me and my brother...

We are Gaaa Gaaaa.... Mad in other words. Vulgar I know...

2007-06-07T20:11:00.000+09:00

Sigh...this sucks. Im such a possessive person and always having no sense of security. Im too sensitive to little things. Sigh...I think too much already. I want to stop this but i cant. Must be cuz im the crab...

I realise I always hurt myself cuz of my stupid thoughts...But the strange thing is, whenever i feel that way, it usually is the case. Thats what happened in the past. I hope this time im wrong.

2007-06-07T18:59:00.001+09:00

Turmoil inside me. Keeping my cool....keeping my calm. Its nothing to worry about im sure. F***!

2007-06-02T16:42:00.000+09:00

If you had only one day left to live? What would you do?

For me...Hmmmm...I think I got an idea. Muahahahahahahahahahaha.....

2007-06-02T15:43:00.000+09:00

WAAA...Last night I slept through like a pig for 10 hours straight. Can't believe that I was so freaking tired.

Sigh....ya yesterday I felt so dead and depressed. Some things from reality suddenly just hit me like that and I realised that there were a lot of things that I have been keeping inside. All this while, I kept telling myself that I can get used to it and it's no big deal. But it hit me pretty hard yesterday. I guess I am just another selfish person who just wants a normal and ideal life.

Anyway, on the plane from Osaka to Singapore. My mum was reading the newspaper and said," wah recently so many people drowning in the reservoir. Always got people drown there."

i said ,"ya..the reservoir is haunted you know. That's probably why."

I think there is some truth to the fact that the reservoir is indeed plagued by some unexplainable unearthly forces. A lot of strange things have been seen there including tombs that come from no where situated right along the waters.

I think people should just stay away from these places. I guess some idiots asked for it!

2007-06-01T15:25:00.000+09:00

I want to be a good person. I want to be good to everyone. I wish I could be more tolerant, less moody and more accepting. I guess I will try harder.

I take refuge in the three jewels, the Buddha, the Dharma and the Sangha. Guide me to the path of enlightenment and help me help other people achieve eternal happiness.

2007-06-01T13:13:00.000+09:00

Im a G**DDa*n bad person. Always victim to jealousy, anger, hate and unhappiness. I wish people around me were perfect. But what the heck. How can they be? Humans are always full of flaws. Disappointing life is. Thought I can handle it well. Im goin crazy maybe cuz Im bored.

2007-06-01T12:25:00.000+09:00

Am I happy? I don't know.Most of the time ya....But when I switch back to reality, looking at everything, I feel....hmmm...nevermind. Quite down.

2007-06-01T00:30:00.000+09:00

For newbies who wanna know what they need to turn their cars into drift machines.

Suspension
No doubt about it, drifting is nothing without suspension. Springs and dampers (or coil-over systems, if you bend that way) should be your first buy. Look for sport-oriented springs and dampers with high stiffness. Drift cars need very high spring and damper rates to keep all four wheels firmly planted through the curves. There's no perfect height setting or spring/shock combo for any car; each driver has his or her own personal preference. And since drifting beats up a suspension more than any other motorsport, a high-quality bushing kit is a good investment. It will protect your suspension components and help ensure high durability.

Clutch
The right clutch is important in drifting. Unlike clutches designed for street use, clutches on drift cars need to allow for rapid "clutch kick" techniques that upset the balance of the car, helping it to skid. They tend to be very tough ceramic brass button or multiple-plate varieties.

Urethane Mounts and Bushings
Engines and gearboxes in drift cars need a lot of shock-proofing, and stock mounts are clearly not up to the task. Instead, most drifters replace their mounts with urethane mounts and dampers to control the violent motion of the engine/gearbox under race conditions.
Engines and gearboxes in drift cars need a lot of shock-proofing, and stock mounts are clearly not up to the task. Instead, most drifters replace their mounts with urethane mounts and dampers to control the violent motion of the engine/gearbox under race conditions.

Cockpit
Because of the large sideways G-forces involved in drifting, you'll need to be retained firmly by a bucket seat specially designed for racing, and held in place with a four- or five-point harness. Proper cockpit restraints allow you to use your hands to merely turn the wheel instead of bracing yourself against the wheel. For optimal control, your steering wheel should be relatively small, dished, and perfectly round, so that it can be released and allowed to spin through the hands as caster returns the front wheels to center. If you're planning on using the E-brake in your drifting technique, you'll need to replace the locking knob on your hand brake with a spin-turn knob. This prevents the hand brake from locking on when pulled. Some drivers move the hand brake location or add an extra hydraulic hand brake actuator for greater braking force.

Engine
Although a drift car's engine needs to put down enough power to spin the wheels, engine power doesn't need to be extremely high. In fact, if your car has too much power, it can be very hard to handle during a drift. Typically, drifters tune their engines for linear response rather than maximum power output.

Cooling System
For safety and durability, you'll definitely want to equip your engine with an upgraded cooling system. Not only will you be pushing your engine very hard, creating lots of heat, but you'll be driving at an angle, which reduces airflow through the radiator. If you have a turbocharged engine, your intercooler's efficiency will be similarly reduced. You should consider an oil cooler as almost essential. For best performance, look for V-mount intercoolers and radiators; this configuration improves flow through these components and keeps the expensive intercooler out of harm's way in the inevitable offs. Finally, you should consider getting a vented hood. Besides looking great, a vented hood provides much needed airflow to the engine.

Chassis
Hard steering at high speeds causes excessive roll and body flex. Front and rear sway bars help distribute the stress of cornering, keeping body roll to a minimum, while strut tower bars add tremendous strength to your car's chassis, virtually eliminating flex.Other chassis preparations are similar to those on road racing cars. If you're planning to drift competitively, a roll cage may be a safety requirement, and adding one helps improve the torsional rigidity of your car's body. Other chassis-stiffening components include B-pillar braces, lower arm braces, and master cylinder braces.Most serious drifters lighten their cars by stripping their interiors of extraneous seating, trim, carpet, sound insulation, and anything else that is not absolutely essential.

Bodykit
Professional drift cars tend to have a low, wide look, so most drifter wannabes like to capture that look with a drift-style body kit. Pro drift also often sport rear spoilers and wings, although they are strictly optional for most street vehicles. Unless you plan to drift on large, open tracks where your car can develop enough speed to create a need for more downforce, skip the wings and focus your cash on something more fundamental.

Tires
A single afternoon of drifting can destroy a brand new set of tires. When shopping for tires, look for special drifting tires for the perfect blend of traction and spin. As a rule, put the better tires on the front for good steering. Put hard-compound tires on your rear wheels if you want performance, and use softer tires if you're interested in showing off a huge cloud of smoke. As for wheels, most drifters like 15" rims on the rear, because 15" tires are cheap. As your drifting technique gets better, you'll most likely want to upgrade your rear tires for a set with a higher grip compound. Although cheap, hard tires are fun purely for their slipperiness and ease of drifting, they quickly become a hazard for high-speed drifts.

2007-05-26T21:48:00.000+09:00

I hope that I have made the right choices in life. I know as Im older, i have changed and Im not the girl I used to be. I still have a lot of choices and challenges in life that I will have to face. I hope I can take them all and bring myself to the right path.

Ganbatte !

2007-05-26T16:38:00.000+09:00

Quiet Thunder?

2007-05-26T14:52:00.000+09:00

Am going to Osaka tonight with my mum. I have been looking forward to visiting Japan again for years ever since the last trip there in 2002.
This time is more of a business thing. I hope I can survive the meetings there. I might have to speak Japanese there. This is scary cuz my knowledge of the language is so little. I know nutterz about the culture. Gosh!

I guess I should just hide in the onsen till I go home.

One good thing though - the food. Oh my! Yummilicious

2007-05-23T23:26:00.000+09:00

Yo! As you guys have noticed, I have changed the blog skin. Doh! I liked the music and I have never come across one with flashing headings. Quite cool eh!?

2007-05-23T22:27:00.000+09:00

Second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, time crawls painfully pass. Especially when there is nothing to do. I wish I was some time god so i can manipulate time and make it pass slowly or quickly to my liking.

2007-05-16T19:00:00.000+09:00

Yea...yea...Im still in bloody singapore. Been moody ever since i arrived here. The weather is bad...and there is nothing to do. ZZZZZZZzzzzz......

The only cool thing here is my doggy. But he is like me, always moody and wanting to sleep. Muahahahaha....Like owner like dog. We both are growing sideways together.

Sigh...

Btw, didz, your blog is freaking funny. Im glad you are prepared for battle.

2007-05-13T13:24:00.000+09:00

Gosh...Im in Singapore now. Sighz....its been raining and gloomy. Am kinda bored too. Sau is in UK. Kang has to study. I have only got my dog but he is usually sleeping and definitely cant go watching movies with me. Yea...I have my friends but its kinda different.

Just had a talk with mum with regards to relationship matters. I think she has the impression that I dont want to ever be with any one or I would end up choosing the wrong one. She has been droning on about how he must have basic qualifications and stuff. As well as interrogating me as to what is happiness in a relationship in my point of view. But I think ultimately, its up to me aint it?

2007-04-02T04:52:00.001+09:00

The four main theoretical pillars of crime causation - strain theory, learning theory, control theory and labelling theory, all provide significant explanations as to what causes and prevents crime from being committed. However, for this essay, I shall be talking about the learning theory and control theory. This essay will mention what they are and compare them as well as discuss their strengths and weaknesses.

Learning theory was derived from the work of Gabriel Tarde which suggested that social learning took place through three stages of modelling. They are close contact, imitation of superiors and insertion. This theory is most suitably applied to group behaviour which involves reinforcement. For example social groups, gangs and peer groups. Where by the "reward" could come in the forms of psychological means such as "positive attention from other groups members, or material, e.g. what was stolen" (Social Learning Theory, Akers, 1973). The amount of positive attention received will dictate whether the behaviour is going to be repeated or not. The interrelationship between the individual and the group he or she belongs to is reflected by the individual's differences which could be biological, psychological or the product of other factors.

Burgess and Aker correlated Sutherland in describing a range of behaviours. According to Sutherland, "criminal bahaviour is learned according to the principles of operant conditioning". Operant bahaviour is determined by shaping, conditioning, extinction and stimulus control, all of which are 'environmental consequences'. Conditioning being creating a constant response to stimulus such as the dog and salivation experiment. Shaping provides varying reinforcement of behaviours. An example would be parents reinforcing 'baby talk' on their child when its a baby and later on, normal speech when the kid is older. When operant behaviour is not reinforces any more, that is when extinction occurs.

Sutherland also states that even in non-social situations that are characteristic, or through social interrelation where the behaviours of the people within that social group reflect criminal bahaviour are also places in which individuals learn to pick up criminal behaviours. The main part of learning criminal behaviour happens in the groups that makes up the individual's main source of reinforcements.

Albert Bandura's social learning theory explains how the learning process is carried out. Based on a real life scenario of a child called Ty, who comes home to play super mario, killing the bad guys and thereafter, watches wrestling and Clint Eastwood's "Dirty Harry". First there is the creation of attention where in the mind of Ty, there would be the thought - " I never thought of that". From Clint Eastwood's "Dirty Harry" for example, we get "Retention" - "I figured out what I was doing wrong" mindset. In the film, there are lines like "Hold the weapon with both hands", "Don't jerk the trigger, squeeze it.", "Aim six inches low to compensate for the recoil". These tips give Ty and many others an idea as to how to create a dead shot. Though they may not act out what they have learnt, it would remain in their mind for the future. The final one would be "Motivation" (Why not do it?) - "It worked out fine for them". People naturally want to get what they desire for ultimately. And if they see for example others getting what they want through violence, they would follow too, believing that they could also get what they want in that manner.

Now on to control theory. As shown in the work of Travis Hirschi, social control theory fits into the right realism, neo-classical school and positivist school. It suggested that the exploitation of social learning and socialization gives rise to self -control and lessens the tendencies of delving in antisocial behaviour. This further suggests four varieties of control.

The first one is "direct" where by when wrongful behaviour is applied, the individual is threatened with some form of punishment. Likewise, with compliance, the individual is rewarded by authority figures that includes parents and family. The second would be "Indirect" where by the individual stays away from criminal behaviour by means of his or her conscience of superego. The next would be "internal" in which the individual upon fearing that his or her criminal act would negatively cause pain and disappointment to people whom they have close relationships with such as parents, refrain from criminal acts. The last would be "Control though needs of satisfaction", meaning that if the needs of the individual are all satisfied, than he or she would see no need in being indulging in criminal activity. Basically, social control theory suggests that people's relationships, commitments, values, norms, and beliefs deter them from breaking the law.

However, this theory can be problematic in the terms that most of the early research done to support it was based on self-reporting studies as there might have been varying motives for the revealing of certain information and there might have been different interpretations of the question. However, the results were deemed convincing. Though this theory aims to comprehend the ways possible to lessen the tendency of criminal behaviour developing in individuals, it fails to take into account motivational matters, simply mentioning that people could choose to be involved in a large array of activities, unless the range is limited by social learning and socialization.

One good thing about this theory is that it suggests that prevention of crime is possible if people are taught the right moral values especially if they were grounded into the minds of people when they are young. If constantly reinforced, it forms a solid foundation within them which would prevent them from falling into criminal dealings.

As for learning theory, it disregards the opportunistic nature of crime. In order to learn, the individual must watch and observe the criminal act that is being carried out. However, this theory fails to explain how the individual came about meeting people displaying criminal bahviour. Moreover, it further fails to state how people who have no form of interaction with criminals, become criminals. For example, if a child living in the rural areas steals money from his mother's purse, where did he learn such behaviour from? However, what this theory has done is explain criminal behaviour is passed on from one individual to another, which could also provide a reason for the rise in the different types of crimes. This theory just like control theory also provides a possible solution to the prevention of crime. That is people can learn to not commit crimes if they are taught the right moral values. They can always unlearn the bad behaviours.

I believe that both theories mentioned in this essay comes under Differential Association theory which states that criminal behaviour is learned and via social interrelationships. It pertains more to the learning theory where the control theory offers a solution. A solution that would help prevent criminal behaviour.

2007-03-23T09:30:00.000+09:00

Blessed from Above

I have been hurt on and off in the Past
Wondering if what I have with you is moving a bit too Fast

I feel comfort in your Embrace
The warmth in your Intoxicating Kiss
With each electrifying Touch you make my Heart Race
To be with You is like an eternal Bliss

But I question our Fate...
Are we destined to be Soul Mates?

I knew at First Sight I had been struck with Cupid's Dart
Right then I knew you were the Key to my Heart
I surrendered my All to You, hoping you won't Tear it All Apart

I want YOU, need You in my Life

I feel the Security when I'm in you Arms
The assurance that you bring me no Harm
Love the Flattery of your Charms

You make my Smile reach my Eyes
I pray each night what we have is not a Lie

Our attraction toward each other is Undeniable
The Passion between Us is Unbelievable
What we share is at loss for words, its Unexplainable

You taught me how to give my Love Away
We'll always Be, I refuse to have it any Other Way

Just the thought of being without You causes such Agonizing Pain
It would be too unbearable, it'll drive me Insane
The days that had once came with Sunshine would then come of Rain

I'll always be by your Side
Now you know I'm that Chick to Ride or Die
That phrase, "I Love You"
Those were the words you spoke from your Lips that were so True
And you know I feel the same about you Too

If this is how it Feels to be in Love
Then I know WE have been Truly Blessed from Above!!!

2007-03-21T11:38:00.000+09:00

Some pictures from London. Got like 100 more...am waiting for em to be sent to me. Hehehehehe...

2007-03-20T07:13:00.000+09:00

Just flew into NYC from London last night. Due to the long flight and time difference, I was totally exhausted. Sigh...It feels a little strange to be in NYC now. I must admit I had a really great time in England. Unfortunately as I did not have much time, I could not travel to the northern bit to visit the place where I was born.

Nevertheless, had a great time in Winchester and London city with my brother. Know why? NO PARENTAL GUIDANCE. Hehehehehehe.....

On the second day, me and bro headed down to London via train to submit his university application documents. That was pretty fun. After subimission, we headed to Leicester Sq. and ate lunch/dinner at this restaurant called Angus Steak House. I had Pepper steak and bro had some other kind of steak. Then, while we walked towards the tube, we came across the red carpet premiere for 300! It was so exciting!Sadly we had to rush back to Winchester so my bro can be in time for his house's meeting.

During the third day of arrival, I hung out in Winchester's High Street shopping while my bro was at school. But you know the shopping was not got me but for other people. :p I must say the stuffs in Winchester are super uber expensive. I mean buying the food there is worth it cuz the quality is superb but things like clothes and stuff did not feel worth the cash I was forking out.

Annoying

2007-03-11T05:18:00.000+09:00

One of the things I hate the most is guys bugging me even after I showed no interest. That is what I call no respect.
Some people think I should feel very flattered but that's BS. It is nothing more than annoyance and some irritating bug that has to learn when to stop. Its not just direspect to me but others too.

2007-03-02T08:40:00.005+09:00

And to add on to the post about doctors. I mean I do not have anything against them as such. Some of them are really nice people.

Last friday after having my throat checked, I received counselling for depression from a really caring doctor. After which, he kind of knew I was not telling him the roots of my problems and gave me all sorts of information about counselling serices which I could go for.

Yea....bottomline is doctors can be very nice. But I still dont wanna see one. HAHAHA

2007-03-02T08:40:00.004+09:00

Finally something to laugh over after my depressing posts. Lol...

2007-03-02T08:40:00.003+09:00

Let's drink till all troubles/ worries are forgotten! Hahahahahahaha....Oh dear....I have gone mad!

2007-03-02T08:40:00.002+09:00

If I were to br hurt and feel pain, how would you people feel? Would you care?

So many people die each day. And yet we do not know about it, we do not care... it wont be an exception in my case.

2007-03-02T08:40:00.001+09:00

Im so scared....really scared.... Dunno what is happening to me. If only I did not have to worry about it, Life would be so great now.

2007-03-02T08:40:00.000+09:00

Being a daughter of a doctor and coming from a family in the medical line, isn't it weird that I have a great phobia of doctors, needles, surgery etc. ...Its not just phobia but GREAT phobia. Seriously...

Its almost like as though I get a panic attack just knowing that I have to visit a doctor even though I know it would not be a painful experience. Though doctors are there to help, they are still the scariest lot of people in my opinion.

I used to tell myself and am still telling myself this actually that I would rather die than see a doctor, have an injection or undergo surgery. Just let life take its course....lol.

2007-02-28T07:32:00.000+09:00

Dear me...Got a mid term day after tomorrow(thursday) for Japanese and Chinese! Die! I only knew of the Jap one today... Better study hard. SO much to study for and I know nuts about the new chapters.

Good luck to me yea...

2007-02-26T12:38:00.000+09:00

Snow is pretty. Every drop is like a little ray of hope that descends from heaven, like hopes I look for in life. But as the snow falls to the ground, it melts to nothingness just like empty hopes and dreams which is what I get most of the time. Disappearing along with the light in my life...

But I like to walk within these hopes. They make my heavy heart a little less heavy, make my clouded mind a little less cloudy. Thats a little gift from above I appreciate.

2007-02-21T12:06:00.000+09:00

I find that life is not working the way it should be. Yea...as people say, life is not fair.

I find that I have lost myself in someway. The old me is not there anymore. Sometimes...I do not know what am I doing anymore. Dont know whether what I am doing is right or wrong. I know there are people who love me but there are things that you cannot always share with them right? Because you know they will get hurt.

The last thing is want is to hurt those I love and those who love me. If I had to give up something that means so much to me for their happiness, I would.

You know I am not the type who can say no especially if what I want makes the other sad. I just wish people wont take advantage of me this way. I know I have to voice out what I want but fo you think its easy? Especially if what I want is not what the other wants?

Thats probably why I got myself hurt so many times.

2007-02-16T08:34:00.000+09:00

Yep yep.....did some drift action earlier on Need for Speed Underground 2 . I built this G35, installed the extreme packages and a wide bodykit . Then, before i started the drift race, i dyno tuned it. Lowered front and back wheels. I softened the suspension and sway bars on the rear while leaving the front ones harder. Then, its off to the track! (wish it was real tho)
Counter steering after a bend.

Counter steer again...

Sliding past sideways!

2007-02-11T06:47:00.000+09:00

Pirates Of The Carribean - Dead Man's Chest Davy Jones Theme

My favourite piece from dead man's chest. Soundtrack of Davey Jones. Beautiful song.

2007-02-07T06:33:00.001+09:00

Tuesday 6th February 2007

Something is wrong with me I think...Since Sunday morning, I have been having this on and off stomache. Monday I felt floaty all the way till this morning. Nothing serious I hope. Sigh...I have been thinking we live life not knowing what would happen to us the next minute. I may not have a tomorrow. Who knows? so I should live like there's no tomorrow right? I dont want to have to regret anything.

I had always wanted to live righteously. A life lived by my principles and believes. Unfortunately, as I grew older, I realised that what I believe in and want to uphold does not always neccessarily please everyone around me. Everyone is different of course... So in order to satisfy others, I have to give up some of my believes. It is a difficult process. But I dont want to hurt...

If something was to happen to me, if I was to die today...what do I want to be in my next life?

IF I WAS TO BE....

A HUMAN:
If i was to be reborn as a human, I wish to dedicate my entire life into walking towards the path of the dharma. I want to achieve enlightenment so as to be able to help all sentient beings in this lifetime and all future lifetimes. I will know no jealousy, hate or anger.
I will be a good daughter to my parents. I will be fillial to them and will do my best not to disappoint them. I will take care of them and thank them from the bottom of my heart for giving me a life.
To my siblings, I want to be a good and responsible sister who is always there for them whenever they need support. I will love and care for them unconditionally.
I will be a good truthful friend. I will give help to those that ask for it and offer it to whoever I see needs it. I will be someone my friends can count on with their life.
I will be a good to the one I love. I will give him everything I can. I will always be faithful and look only at his direction. I will be someone he can trust and count on. Hurt him I wont. I will give him all the love I have.

AN ANIMAL:

If i was to be reborn as an animal, I want to be one that can give love to other sentient beings. Such like a dog does to its owner. I want to be the animal that brings joy, that touches the lives of others.
Or...I want to be an animal that helps other sentient beings live. I will be their source of food and enjoyment, such that they do not have to be hungry.

AN INSECT...

If I was to become an insect, than may I be one that is not a pest. Let me be one that is able to contribute to the goodness of the world.

2007-02-07T06:33:00.000+09:00

2007-02-06T10:00:00.000+09:00

Owww...just look at this Nissan S15, this is better than ice cream. I got this from a website called azines.com which is obviously stated on the pictures. They have a write up on it...here it goes...dont sue me for copyright matters, i just love this drift machine!

WORD: H. MICHAEL CHEUNG / EDIT: ANNY DOUGHERTY / PICTURES: H. MICHAEL CHEUNG
My fellowship group once told me that God gives everyone equal talents to make us unique individuals. I truefully believe that and try to apply that to my everyday life. Take automobile for example, some cars are made to show, some cars are made to race, and some cars are made to drift. Well… that’s what I thought until I saw this Swift S15. It is a natural born drift car with a killer look and it kicks ass on the race circuits! It has just a little more juice than its opponents in every category.I am pretty sure you have seen the “Swift” logos in many show and race cars, but who exactly are they? Swift Springs was founded in Tokyo in 1997, the motorsports division of the Tohatsu Spring Corporation of Japan. The company’s goal is to develop the next generation of motorsports coil springs by first-hand involvement. Swift springs are lightweight, durable, and exhibit the most linear characteristics while being cost effective. Sounds simple huh?! It is rocket science!The S15 Silvia is always a top choice for JDM tuners since it popped out from Nissan’s virg… I mean production line in 1998 to succeed the S14. With the passing of the then new emission law in Japan, the Silvia production was axed in 2002. (The Skyline GT-R soon followed) But it didn’t decrease the valve of the car; on the other hand, the price sky rocketed and the S15 became a collectable item. People always want what they can’t get.Swift Springs USA president Yashio Uchida and his crew bought this supped-up drift machine from the land of the rising sun late last year. It was then newly painted with new graphics, and was given a light performance upgrade; just barely in time to make it to last year’s SEMA Show. Its pure JDM DNA, slick body style, gutted interior, well hidden roll cage, extended e-bake handle, and other professional drift car characteristics earned the Swift S15 an “Instant Show Stopper” title on its American debut.There are three reasons for the hardcore drift car appearance of this Swift S15. The first reason is in the previous life, this S15 was a regular in professional and parking lot drift events. The second reason is of course to carry out the image reflected by Swift’s short but impressive history in the world of drifting. The third reason is, well it doesn’t matter because it looks so fine! The Nissan Silvia is wearing a Wise Square Besiege D1GP Spec Pro full body kit with smoke grey body paint. There are carbon fiber aero parts all around the car, Tenijin Technora yellow carbon fiber hood, Tenijin carbon fiber front and rear diffusers, and Besiege carbon fiber GT wing. Once again, it is simple, eye catching, and JDM all the way!The engine is built by Yashio Factory, along with the performance upgrades and tuning. During the photoshoot, Uchida San and his crew never mentioned how many horses they have under the hood. Then a week later, Uchida sent me the specs with an email starting with “As you see, we did only minimum modification to motor……” So I opened the attachment and went through the performance specs slowly: SR20DET power plant, NISMO head gasket, Garret turbo upgrade, secret brand blow off valve, Yashio Special header, Blitz / URAS boost controller, HKS Power Flow air filter, HKS front mount intercooler, HKS oil cooler, Wise Square Besiege’s exhaust, and 400bhp…… Wow, hold your horses! Minimum modification to motor with that much power?! Uchida San really taught me how to be humble! Or maybe it is just one of the habits he developed from the world of professional racing, as all the numbers are always close guarded secrets.To efficiently transfer the power to the wheels, the Swift crew upgraded the drive train with an Ogura Clutch, NISMO transmission, and NISMO LSD differential. Talk about the wheels, The Swift S15 is equipped with Rays Daytona Racing DR505; a very rare item in the market. The 18x9 +25 front wheels are wrapped with 225/40/18 Toyo RA-1 and the 18x10 +5 rear wheels are wrapped with 245/40/18.So Uchida’s email continued, “…Our intension is to beat other cars with suspension technology, since we are spring manufacture……” I should point out that I was one of the lucky people to witness this S15 in action in the Modified REDLINE time attack, and that was what Uchida San meant by “to beat other cars”. On that day, before the actual event, the Swift crew was working nonstop around the clock, brought the car out on the track, and then went straight to the paddock to swap suspensions and reset tire pressure, just to get the perfect lap time on that day on that track. This is what separates a race car from a sports car. For a race car, everything is changeable (or adjustable) to suit the perfect formula for the race. That is the spirit of Swift Springs, as the motorsports division of a Japanese giant.Of course you should already know, the best part of the Swift S15 is its chassis setup. The suspension system is made up with Kei-Office made Swift Special DG5 shock absorbers, Swift ID60mm 7” 10kg springs in the front and 9” 9kg at the rear. A pair of Swift ID60mm 1.5kg rear helper springs was added, and the frame was tightened by Swift stabilizer bars.On the time attack event, this S15 was piloted by well known Japanese super endurance driver Yasushi Kikuchi. At the end of the day, with almost 400 horses shy, it captured the second overall less than half a second following Kim Johnson’s XS Engineering R34 piloted by Formula D favorite judge Tarzan Yamada. Uchida San’s email ended with “…we need good brake, which we did not have time to install”, and a big smile!!

Since SEMA, this S15 had been attended a number of shows and some of you may already have had the chance to meet it in person. But with first hand experience, I have to tell you there is NOTHING that comes close to seeing it in action! Don’t be jealous, we have just confirmed with Swift that they will be competing in the D1 season opener on March 4th at Irwindale Speedway! So make sure you go check it out in their booth and on the track!!

2007-01-26T05:49:00.000+09:00

Wow...have not been blogging for a long time. Guess I have no inspiration or perhaps...yea...i admit am being lazy.

Yepperz, Im back in NYC, the freezer. Its s cold over here, i think i just need to hang my groceries outside the window, get some free refrigeration. I love the cold though, well...sometimes at least. It makes me feel clean. None of that hot, sweaty humid yucky feeling. But of course, since I have to walk and take the bus to school, it is not exactly all that pleasant. Brrrr......

Anyway, yesterday I could not resist doing the dummest thing ever. Eating pancakes fried in butter kills my throat everytime I eat it but I could not resist and had it yesterday and WAALLLA....today Im down with a horrible sore throat and fever. CRAP! The worst thing is that I cannot skip classes to rest though I really want to because once I miss a language class, Im in trouble.

Sigh....my fever is making me feel all floaty and weird. I think I would crash early tonight. Its feels good to be back blogging. I need to let things out and the problem with me is that Im not a verbal person. Some how I always get word jam....The only way to get things out is through writing. No pressure I guess...hahaha

2007-01-12T23:01:00.000+09:00

Spicy version

This one was littered with kimchi! Oishi!

Non spicy version

2007-01-12T22:47:00.000+09:00

Today grandparents and parents went for a dinner with my granddad's business partner's son and family. I said I did not wanna go so left home with my youngest bro and childhood friend, Darren! Hahahah....We decided to make Korean dishes...oh well at least try to.

It was a fun experience making the noodles with kimchi and all. After that, we used the table tennis table in the media room as a dining table as we watched crappy superman returns. The noodles turned out better than expected! I was happy with it.

Darren decorating the noodles. Hahaha!

2007-01-08T17:19:00.000+09:00

The pond! Over the years, me and my dad handpicked the kois and imported them over from japan. I love em very much as I grew up with some of them...Before my dog came along...they helped me get through a lot of stressful periods. Am grateful to them

2007-01-02T23:19:00.000+09:00

Household moments....

The my own toilet...Mmmmm...my place of inspiration.

I decorated it with pictures of cars and movie posters...as well as pics of food.

Erm...sorry another tilted pic. I stuck a pic of some really delicious lookin drink on the seat. lookin good eh...

Part of out front garden. Behind the pillar is our indoor pond.

My room and my electone (electric organ)

I was on the phone with my aunt when i took this. Behind me is my collection of cars. The nissan skyline on the upper most deck was built by me piece by piece. I also painted the body. It was a pain building it but the hard work paid off...Its hell of a fast little car.

2007-01-02T22:59:00.000+09:00

display of wine leading to the restrooms

Continuation of the pictures from the dinner at Equinox...Yep...That's how the best part of Singapore looks like.

The two bluish domes are the esplanade where theatre shows take place. Supposed to be shaped after durians that building...

Singapore's CBD and boat quay...

Sorry another tilted pict...

2007-01-02T19:51:00.000+09:00

Last night...we had dinner with my mother's business associates. We went to the Equinox which is situated on the highest level of the tallest building (a hotel) in Singapore. When we got there, we were given a little private corner which was separated from the rest of the other tables by splendid curtains. Not to mention..the view was breath taking!

Our dinner table, curtains and the view.

Our dinner table and my mum on the right waiting for the guests to arrive.

Beautiful pink roses on the table...

The toilet had splendid dressing room...

This is the starter i ordered...Beef tenderloin. It was brilliant.

The view as I stood on the edge...

2007-01-02T19:34:00.000+09:00

Meet my crazy yet cute dog, Spectre... See he is winking at you...cute!

His noble face....Lol!

watashi to inu!

Watashi no otootosan(younger brother) to inu! Kawaii ne!

Look at spectre's face...irresistable!

brotherly love...hmmm

2007-01-02T18:42:00.000+09:00

I took a few pictures with my phone during the short Hong Kong trip. Nothing very much...there will be more and better pictures coming up, just waiting for my brother to send them ( guess he never will...hahahaah)
This is a a little view of Hong Kong. (taken through the window of a shopping mall)

Inside the subway specially designed to take people to disney land. I thought the mickey mouse windows were a bit ....erm...nevermind..

A display in the disney train. It looked like chocolate...maybe i was just hungry.

Sorry its tilted. it should be upright

Me at the disney land toilet. I liked the toilets there...clean and has nice music playing...

Sorry I have a thing for toilets.

2007-01-01T03:46:00.000+09:00

Today I, toegther with my family attended two New Year functions. The first was a dinner and the second, a simple countdown party.

The last day of 2006 went by really slowly for me just like the rest of the days. Dinner was boring...We had it with some family friends and I was not feeling all that comfortable so stuck mainly to my bros as usual. Feeling moody too...

The countdown party was horrifyingly, terribly, extremely, unbearably bad!!!! Know why? Cuz the whole time, people were singing Karaoke. I mean thats fine...I enjoy watching people sing karaoke but not when they sing like toads and frogs with a humongous sore throat! There were even some pompous dudes who thought they were the best singers in the whole world and tried showing off though I thought they were basically screaming all the time. These people need to chill. Already 50 - 60 plus years old...shouldn't they know how to be considerate. LOL! Sorry Im being mean here....bad mood kicking in again.

Oh yea! I have got picts taken randomly over the Hong Kong trip. Gonna upload it soon. And Oh! People, dont ever take Cathay Pacific Airlines. When we were going to HK, we were delayed for 7 hours and when returning to Singapore, we were delayed for 2 hours. Its retarded...simply bad!

2007-01-01T03:42:00.000+09:00

These days ...bad mood for no reason. Lol...Feel frustrated inside but don't know why. Just got back from Hong Kong few days ago. Had a great time there being with grandparents.

We spent the whole four days shopping and eating. - Even got to go to Disneyland for the second time. It was childish but enjoyable in a way. My mum and I bought clothes as I wanted to revamp my closet. Need to add more lady like stuffs inside....know wad i mean? Hahahaha....

What I miss most about Hong Kong is the fried fish skin. It is so delicious esp. when you dip it in soup! Waaaaaa....totemo oishi desu!

2006-12-30T01:47:00.000+09:00

Kono Shasshin wa "Beard Papa" no pun desu. Totemo oishi tabemono desu ne! Watashi wa dai suki desu.....mmmmmmmmmmm.....Ima, watashi wa tabetai desu yo! Ishhioni "Beard Papa" wo kaimasen ka?

2006-12-30T01:44:00.000+09:00

Skyline with a Drag race bodykit... I know I have nothing to write...thats why im uploading skylines...dohhh

2006-12-30T00:58:00.000+09:00

Anatomy of the Missan Skyline R34 posted above...Hot ehhh...... My future car is i ever have the money.

2006-12-20T01:50:00.000+09:00

Sway - The Pussycat Dolls

Song from "Shall we Dance"

2006-12-20T01:28:00.000+09:00

Il Divo - Mama

Il Divo- my fav music group. This song is meaningful...

2006-12-20T01:23:00.000+09:00

bloopers

Martial Arts blooper

2006-12-20T01:18:00.000+09:00

Sleepy Spudgy

This dog is falling asleep while sitting up....cute!

2006-12-20T01:08:00.000+09:00

Since I arrived on Saturday, it has been raining heavily on and off. The sky is always dark, place feels so gloomy.

Apparently my aunt called up telling me and my bros that some where in singapore, there is a huge flood. This had never happened before for the last 70 odd years. Amazing...Global warming is truly occurring.

Yep yep...take care of the environment people or you will regret it. Treasure what you have before its all gone.

2006-12-17T18:09:00.000+09:00

Wad am I doing? Honestly, I do not know anymore. Life is too complicated for me to comprehend. After all, I am only 20, I guess people will say that I still have many more years to go. But hey, you dont know what will happen tomorrow right? We are constantly living our life not knowing how many more days we have. Well....at least for me. Yea...I know I think like an old person. That's probably why I feel so troubled.

It's fascinating how the world works based on karma and emptiness. When something happens to me, I tell myself that I must have done that to someone before either in this life or my previous lives.

When something bad happens to me, I accept it. What is the point of flaring up? Would that make any difference at all? To me, it wont.

I truly do not know what to do anymore because either direction I take, I would end up hurting myself and others too. I do not want to hurt anyone. Although I am a human with many fall backs, I want to bring joy and happiness to everyone in this world. I want to relieve everyone of their sufferings.
Caught in a dilema, I do not know which direction to go. Seriously....I dont...

2006-12-16T21:09:00.000+09:00

Ok....Hmmmm...This is so drama.

I am now in Singapore guys. Its great to be home...Finally can see my brothers and pets once again. Laugh once more...forget my problems. I really need this holiday so bad. Have so much on my mind right now that I feel soooo very exhausted to the point I can no longer hold my head up. I feel weighed to the deepest of grounds...as though I am walking through heaps and heaps of snow with boulders on my shoulder.

Life is truly never perfect. One moment you are happy and one moment happiness turns to sorrow. BUT I got to be strong. This is life...

I have faith though that everything will work out well. Its all Karma and emptiness. Lets see how I can view life in a positive way though technically it is negative. Let's stay positive and keep an open mind to things. After all, I am so far away now and happily with my crazy brothers and pets.

To everyone: Basically life is hard....yaaaaa it definitely is. Probably like super uber hard.

For a little bit of happiness, you have to pay the expensive price of feeling pain/ hurt. I told myself before this was not worth it, yet, I still gave in. I guess its human nature. I am human after all. I have a lot of weaknesses. I am not saying that you are as "faulty" as I am but whatever it is, BE STRONG!

2006-12-11T05:05:00.000+09:00

Actually to be honest...the last few times I went to seaport to so called "throw stones" off my mind...thinkin of lots of things.Well, that aint quite accurate. I was troubled by one thing. Cant tell u peeps wad tho. Hahahaha.... Sorry

Im all good now

2006-12-11T01:01:00.000+09:00

There is so much to think about...But never had the time to think em through. I guess things just happen to me so fast that *Bam*Bam* Bam* its happened before you know it...leaving you no idea how it all started.

Winter break is coming in less than a week. I think I really really really need a rest like so bad. I need to think things through. I think I am emotionally and mentally exhausted. I dunno...I really need the break.

-What am I doing? Am I right or wrong to do wadeva?

-Should I stay for an extra semester?

-SHould I stay after graduation

-How am I going to pay my parents back for the college fees

-How do I repay my parents for everything they have done for me?

-How am I going to survive the next semester with so much to accomplish.

-Wad do I want to be when I am out of college? Act, model, direct, produce, Storyboard?

I know there is more on my mind but I cant think em up now. I will think thru....think thru....hehehehe

Me got problem

2006-11-28T11:55:00.000+09:00

Ok dokie....I realise im weird and being stupid. Hmmmm...for one....when i do not have something, I feel so effing terrible. Yet when I finally get the thing, Im like yay but have second thoughts and kinda like " hmmmm ok.....I thot I wanted this".

What's wrong with me? hahahaha.....I really need to set myself straight.

*Bang Wall*

Daily Quibbles

2006-11-18T14:43:00.000+09:00

Just now I was walking along pier 17...my usual weekly routine of throwing the "stones" on my mind back into the sea when I came across a group of fishermen. They very brave....dare to fish in an area with many signs that say "no fishing in this area".

Lol....As I was watching them fish as well as the breath taking scenery of course, I suddenly realised this dark figure on the second level of the pier watching these fishermen. When I turned to look at the dark figure, I realised it was some security officer in that area. The fishermen were doomed I thought. But after awhile, he disappeared without stopping these people from fishing. So weird..... Wad are rules for? EH?

Anyway....I went to a more remote area of the pier cuz I wanted some peace and quiet when this elderly foreign couple came up to me and said ," Want some company?" I sorta jumped! haha
Then they said," U should not be alone. Where are you from? why are you alone?"
I explained that I lived around the area and just came for a walk. Then they said," You should not be alone. Do you have friends? Bring your partner. U must have a partner!"
I just laughed....Partner? I aint got no partner. Lol . They were so sweet. I really appreciated that. :-) Made me smile. I needed that.

_____________________________________________

Before all that, i had an art class today. I was like searching for my drawing board and paper when I realised they were stolen. I was so angry. Then came the bad mood.

What made me feel worse was that the teacher made us draw human skeletons. Thats like so effing disgusting. I am super uber sensitive about human body parts. I lose my appetite from seeing these things. Imagine having to draw and face a human skeleton for 3 and a half hours. Waaaaaa....I almost died.
As you can imagine, my drawing did not turn out very well. Not my fault. Blame it on the thief and the skeleton. Bet the teacher was disappointed! Lol...

2006-11-17T12:24:00.000+09:00

Sigh...dunno why I m kinda feeling down and out. Must be the weather. Its like raining like crazy over here. Storm came up from the South where a tornado just hit and killed some people.

The wind is like crazy...as the heavy rain and wind hits, my windows are like shaking now and then. Kinda fun yet scary. I am so glad I do not have to drive today especially the manual wan which I absolutely adore.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thankfully the rain hit only after I got home from school. However, as I was walking back, the wind was like gusting like crazy. It was so hard to walk and things sand kept flying into my eyes. So pain! I just wish I had my own car so I no need to worry so much about weather conditions so much.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think people should care more for their environment yo! Look at how crazy the climate has become. Its supposed to be like freaking cold and snowing here in new york. However, its like 20 degrees celsius?! That is just not right! Apparently...this is also happening in other parts of the world like Europe. Something is definitely wrong. Look at all the storms happening....Why are people still not heeding the warnings? I just dun understand mankind.

2006-11-17T09:31:00.000+09:00

How The Lord Of The Rings should have ended

This is so true....the original movie makes no sense now...

2006-11-16T09:27:00.000+09:00

Star Wars Parody

Obi wan buying car

2006-11-16T08:41:00.000+09:00

Guess wad? I have decided to revamp my closet. Lol...well sort of...I do not have the money to totally revamp it. I kinda gotten into the fashion of shirt dress. Dunno why...guess it looks freakin cool.
The photo is of me wearing one of the new shirt dress I got over ebay. Nice or not? hahahaha....I dun trust me taste. Lol... Sorry picture a bit blurr. I took it with my cell phone in my loo. My cell phone is like dying so ya..cant take great pics anymore. Sighz! Ketai Denwa san, Gambatte! haha

My dream

2006-11-11T15:00:00.000+09:00

Just now I went to my favourite place again. It makes me not wanna leave. I have "stones" which weigh my mind down : alot of things going on in my head. But when I come here....I forget like magic. Abover are some pictures of the ships in dock. The large one with sails is called"Peking" built in 1911. Its majestic! The one called "Ambrose" is like a tug boat built years ago too. Where I sat, there was the U.S. Coast Guard , I love their boat!

Somehow....though I kinda dislike New York City as a whole, I kind of dont want to leave this place. I dunno...I feel more free here. I can do whatever I like here. I dont feel watched or cooped up. I drive when I want to, I go out when I want to....hang out with friends when I want to. This is real enjoyment. I do not want stereotyped thoughts that others have to tie me down.

I do what I love....now dont you people be skeptical about what I like. I have my dreams and Im gonna live it. I dont care what you people think....ya laugh at me or say its silly ...but I will live it the way I want.

Lyrics

2006-11-10T15:32:00.000+09:00

I spend the last 2 hours watching Pocahontas 2 and the music video for the first movie. The theme song for the first one is sooo nice...here's the lyrics:

If I never knew you If I never felt this love I would have no inkling of How precious life can be
And if I never held you I would never have a clue How at last I find in you The missing part of me
In this world so full of fear Full of rage and lies I can see the truth so clear In your eyes So dry your eyes
And I’m so grateful to you I’d have lived my whole life through Lost forever If I never knew you
If I never knew you I’d be safe by half as real Never knowing how I could feel A love so strong and true
I’m so grateful to you I’d have lived my whole life through Lost forever If I never knew you
I thought our love would be so beautiful Somehow we make the whole world bright I never knew that fear and hate could be so strong All they’d leave us were these whispers in the night But still my heart is saying we were right
Oh, if I never knew you If I never knew your love I would have no inkling of How precious life can be
There’s no moment I regret Since the moment that we met If our time has gone too fast I’ve lived at last
I thought our love would be so beautiful Somehow we make the whole world bright I thought our love would be so beautiful We’d turn the darkness into light And still my heart is saying we were right We were right
And if I never knew you (If I never knew you) I’d have lived my whole life through Empty as the sky Never knowing why Lost forever If I never knew you

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er....a bit messy i know but you get the idea. Listen to the song! Its great great great

Im a recluse

2006-11-10T14:09:00.000+09:00

Sigh today my appetite got problem. Dunno why. Lol...Must be because of the work I had to do today and the burdens in my head. Haiz...recently karma so bad...mus pray more. Hahahahah!!!

Anyway...I feel like I should be doing more with my life rather than just study, go school, eat and sleep. Come on...Im in New York City, I cant be so dead and boring. But I dont drink and I dont dance....wad is there to do for me then? People say Im boring but you tell me....Should I use weekends to watch plays, go to movies bla bla? Those things are so freaking expensive to indulge in. One movie ticket is like US$11. If the movie is not good....wahhhhhh heart pain pain!

I must save the money so next time can buy my dream car right? The veilside 350Z or Fortune RX-7. Maybe Nissan Skyline too. Suffer now....enjoy later I suppose.

Haiya! But Im like a recluse. Maybe saving money one thing but, I make movies man! How can I know people in the industry by staying in my room all the time? I must go BANG WALL.

Why is life like that? Nothing can ever be perfect....

2006-11-09T13:16:00.000+09:00

Greg Hits Hollywood

this is so funny...lol

My place of solace

2006-11-07T12:28:00.000+09:00

Beautiful eh?

Yesterday night, I went to my place of solace. Haha...I always go there when I feel stressed or u noe...have a lot of things in mind that I want to clear out.

Its called Pier 17, South Street Seaport. Its the most lovely place I have ever seen in New York City and is only 5 minute walk from my little pigeon hole apartment.

Here are some pictures I took last night as I stood by the water's edge. (above)

It was like 0-3 degrees celsius that night. Very very bbrrrrrrrringggglllyyy cold. But it was worth it.

The bridge in there is the famous Brookyn bridge. I cant remember the one behind...lol...there are so many!

That night, I even saw 5 planes in the sky all at once!! Ain't it cool!?

2006-11-06T11:28:00.000+09:00

Sometimes people confuse me. They do things to make you think one way when they could mean another. Be more direct can!? Haha...

Haiz....real good friends are so hard to make. Most of them contact you only when they need help. Thats not friendship right? I mean...ya we be there for each other in times of trouble but friends also contact each other even when there is is no reason to.

They can talk comfortably with each other about anything...share secrets and so on.

Unfortunately in this materialistic world, it is so hard to find people like that.

2006-10-31T12:16:00.000+09:00

ウェルシュ・コーギー　Welsh Corgi

So Effing cute la! I want one too

Commemorating the Happiest moments in my life

2006-10-25T08:57:00.001+09:00

These are a list of the happiest moments in my life so far ( might miss out some cuz I have short memory):

1) Everytime I bring my new kois home.

2) When two of my kois won medals.

3) When I brought Spectre, then a 2 month old puppy, home. ( this had been my birthday wish since I was a lil kid- dream come true)

4) When I get to go out for late night movies with my brother.

5) When my grandparents come over from Hong Kong

6) Getting my Learner's Permit to learn driving ( really dream come true)

When Im down, I think of these to make myself happier. It does help in a way. So I think all of you out there who are down, write a list of things that made you happy and think of them. Hope you all feel better too.

Stupid People

2006-10-25T08:57:00.000+09:00

Many people like to blame others when things go wrong. However, while they love scolding the other person, I think they should hold up a mirror in front of themselves. Most of the time I go like "Hello? Pot calling the kettle black. You are like dat too or worse."

When something goes wrong, it is always the faults of those involved, never just one. It really f***in pisses me of when they start blaming each other, exaggerating the situation to make it seem as though the other is terrible. This is all just stupid and non sensical.

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Another thing is lies. Ya people lie from time to time so they dont get into trouble - white lie. Thats fine! I understand...even I do that sometimes. Honest esp. in the past when I could not submit work in time, I would come up with some fake excuse so I would escape punishment.

However lies become bad when it affects other people in a negative way. For example , others might say A. But the other person says B just so he/ she gets what she wants. Often resulting in other people viewing those who said A to be viewed badly by others.

This is inhumane. This world is inhumane and thats what I see so much.

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2006-10-25T06:15:00.000+09:00

Driving Test

for people who have yet to take driving test. Haha!

2006-10-25T02:10:00.000+09:00

Sigh...Life is sad aint it...I just feel like cursing everyone except my brothers, fishes and dog of course. Sigh...

My dreams finally came true - the fact that i can finally learn how to drive after so many years of waiting. I was so happy but just knowing my mum does not like my driving interests makes me feel bad to do do what i want. Lol.

I just hope people understand that driving is the only thing that helps me forget all troubles. It makes me happy. People are givin me so many problems and such...I just need something to make me forget at least during the moment im enjoying myself.

Ya...driving is dangerous. Duh! But other things also. Why everyone I know can have their driving licnce and learn driving in peace? None of them kena accident wad! I know what im doing and I love it. I guarantee no accidents. LOL.

Everything is also dangerous in this world. Like this than i might as well not do anything.

FUCK LA! LIFE IS FUCKED UP!!
I HATE THIS. I WANNA STAY IN USA if it was not for my my dear doggie, fishes and brothers. At least here I do what i love most.

My first driving lesson!

2006-10-24T08:01:00.000+09:00

I had my first driving lesson today. The feeling was something I never felt before. Hahahaha....Its so much better than getting into the college of my dreams.

I was kinda surprised when i was expected to drive on the public road as soon as the lesson started. I was so nervous. I practically was breathing down on the wheel for first half of the lesson, gripping it with both hands as tight as I could. Luckily the instructor was very professional and guided me thru the whole class well. I got the hang of it after a while.

Phew....time flies during driving. I love every single moment of it. If I had a car now, I would drive till there is no more gas in it. I am soooo in love with driving now! Hehehehehehehe..... Lemme quit school and become taxi driver!

2006-10-23T04:01:00.002+09:00

I thought the sky was very beautiful... dont you think?

I wish people was all over the world would take care of their environment so we can get beautiful skies like this everyday!

My learners

2006-10-23T04:01:00.001+09:00

My Car! - toyota celica...hehehe

Guess wad? After years and years of dreaming, I finally got my learners. Now I can finally get to learn driving for real. Gosh! Im so freakin happy! I still cannot believe i go my Learners ...haha i know its not a big deal to you people esp those who already got their drivers licence but it is to me. Im like super uber crazy about cars and u know....its like a dream come true.

My dog

2006-10-23T04:01:00.000+09:00

My Beautiful German Shepherd Doggie, Spectre...Awwww aint he cute. He's the best in da world!

He might look fierce but in fact he is quite the opposite. He loves people. Defeats the purpose really cuz he is supposed to gaurd the house rather then welcome people which he does.

He is really greedy.He loves food and as long as you have food held up in front of him, he would do anything to get it.

The main problem is that he is very curious and mischievious at times. Spectre loves going out but we dare not take him cuz he likes to go fast and charge at other dogs and so on. He is also much stronger than all of us so u know...no one dares to go out with him. Haha!