Wad am I doing? Honestly, I do not know anymore. Life is too complicated for me to comprehend. After all, I am only 20, I guess people will say that I still have many more years to go. But hey, you dont know what will happen tomorrow right? We are constantly living our life not knowing how many more days we have. Well....at least for me. Yea...I know I think like an old person. That's probably why I feel so troubled.

It's fascinating how the world works based on karma and emptiness. When something happens to me, I tell myself that I must have done that to someone before either in this life or my previous lives.

When something bad happens to me, I accept it. What is the point of flaring up? Would that make any difference at all? To me, it wont.

I truly do not know what to do anymore because either direction I take, I would end up hurting myself and others too. I do not want to hurt anyone. Although I am a human with many fall backs, I want to bring joy and happiness to everyone in this world. I want to relieve everyone of their sufferings.
Caught in a dilema, I do not know which direction to go. Seriously....I dont...